Ive been smoking recently
The nicotine makes me feel like i'm not alone
And although I'm so prone to FUCK
I NEED YOU
WHY DO I STILL MISS YOU
why...
I feel so sorry and confused
About what behaviour is right or not
I just want to go back in time and give you space
Just realise that all my actions were wrong and you were right
For wanting a relationship based on love and not desire
Why did I desire you like that
Why did I not just love you
Now I'm alone and it hurts so much
So much
So much
And I just want someone to hold me
But I cant because
I know itll just end up the same
Because im immature and stupid
So i need to grow
But it hurts
And i cant
Keep hurting like this
Please
Come back
Please
I know you hate me
That hurts the most
That you hate me
That this reminsicing is one sided
That you probably barely think of me
And when you do you spit on the ground in disgust
And when I think of you my heart still skips beats
But this time not out of butterflies
but from guilt.